- November 2019 -

“I truly never thought I would be a mother. We had been in fertility treatments for seven unsuccessful years, and although we were very private about our fertility struggles, we were beaten up; physically, financially, and emotionally. I did not think that I was ever going to be pregnant, and DJ and I had started to accept that this was how our lives were going to look. After lots of prayer and thoughtful consideration, we decided to give it one last try, one last transfer of embryos. This time we were with a different clinic and physician in Nashville.

When you transfer embryos, you have a blood draw at about day 10, a pregnancy test. With this transfer I had a detectable beta HCG. This was the first time I EVER had any kind of positive result! My beta HCG levels continued to rise, and finally, an ultrasound confirmed a heartbeat. For the entire three-hour drive from Nashville, we were in utter amazement. Looking at our ultrasound image, could this be real? It was real, I was pregnant!

As my pregnancy progressed, we very cautiously told our families and then our friends. The sheer elation when we would tell the people we love our news was so very sweet! Even as I would tell patients, many of them would start crying tears of joy! Then the fog of the pandemic fell over the world. This cancelled our plans for a gender reveal celebration, maternity photos, babymoon, and a baby shower. I worked from home, and had telehealth appointments. Not many people saw me pregnant. Despite these disappointments, my pregnancy was perfect. I never felt ill, I had no nausea. I was still able to exercise, and actually met my goal of completing my 100th barre class while I was carrying Luke. Luke was growing well, and I was able to feel him moving around inside me. DJ could finally touch my stomach and feel him kick! All of my labs, ultrasounds, and fetal heart rate were testing good. We had a healthy baby!

- April 25, 2020 -

My parents came into town over the weekend to help put the crib together in the nursery. We had planned on putting the stroller together too. That afternoon, I felt a small amount of fluid, and at first I thought I had peed myself. Then there was a little more. We went to triage at Parkwest Medical Center, where I was diagnosed with Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes (PPROM). I was immediately transferred to Fort Sanders Regional Medical Center, where the NICU and the high-risk obstetricians would be available. At first, the doctors were not convinced that I had ruptured because the amount of fluid was so scant. I was hospitalized for two weeks, with the goal to stay pregnant. Thankfully, Luke and I were still healthy and safe.

- May 8, 2020 -

I went into labor. I had some contractions the night before, but they had stopped. We were all praying that this would be the case again, but this time the contractions did not stop. Earlier that same day, my fluid levels were measured and I had an ultrasound, and everything was looking good. Still, this time, my labor progressed, and I was transferred from antepartum to Labor & Delivery. Luke was in distress, and I had to have an emergency C-section. Luke had thrived, he had gained weight, and there had been no signs of distress until the emergency surgery. Luke Hudson Neil was born May 9, 2020, at 12:57am. He was 15 3/4 inches long, just shy of 29 weeks, and weighed 2lbs, 15oz. Luke passed away May 9, 2020, at 8:48am.

DJ and I were able to hold Luke. We told him we loved him, we kissed him. Luke was baptized, and we let him go to heaven. My intent in telling Luke’s story is to honor him, acknowledge his life and death. Luke deserves for his name to be spoken and he deserves to make his little mark on this big world.”

- Amy Province Neil -